The Vision

The Vision

Well, it had been yet another bad day in the office, and once again.
It was the fault of that new girl, MaryAnne. She is one of those
Wiccans, a so called witch. How can anyone in their right mind make
this claim, knowing that it goes against God and all of the teachings
of the bible?

She doesn't even have the common decency to keep her satanic symbol,
her pentagram necklace hidden from the view of the decent, God fearing
people in the office.

She has some nerve.

I find that I cannot hate her for this though, for I know that she has
been deceived. Satan works his evil in ways that she cannot see. I've
seen that so called Wiccan Rede that she has tacked to the wall above
her computer. On the surface, it looks like a decent loving belief,
but all one must do is look, look closely and see that by practicing
this way, and not embracing Jesus Christ as savior, she is on the
pathway to hell.

As I've said, it was a bad day in the office. Three times in the past
few weeks I have been called in to see my supervisor, and he has told
me that I am not allowed to preach to MaryAnne the word of God, to
show her the error of her ways. Today, my supervisor told me that if I
continue to "harass" MaryAnne, he will be forced to terminate me. How
can he say this? He himself is a God fearing man. And, how can he be
so tolerant of the evil that he sees insinuating itself into our
workplace?

As I lay down to sleep last night, I asked the Lord for guidance.
"God, grant me a true vision of you, so that I may better lead the
faithless onto the righteous path,"

"Oh, a true vision of Me is it? Are you sure that you're ready, truly
ready to see, my son?"

I sat bolt upright in bed, and there, at the foot of my bed, white of
hair and beard, in a long, flowing white robe, stood the Lord my God.

I made to leap from the bed and fall to my knees in front of Him, but
he stopped me with a gesture.

"Kneel not before me at this time my son. Instead, rise and walk with
Me, so that you may get a glimpse of what I truly am, as you asked of
me in your prayer,"

He took my hand, and as I looked, my bedroom was no longer there, but
a pathway thru the woods. We started to walk, and I was too awestruck
for words. We took the path to the left, and we were then inside St.
Catherine's Church, in the middle of a service.

While still standing beside me, God seemed to expand and fill the
whole of the church. I could see smiles of contentment forming on some
of the parishioners faces. I felt blessed. God smiled upon me.

"The Catholics hold such pretty masses, don't they? I like to stop
here in this church, because not only do they speak the words, but
they live the life, thru teaching, helping the sick and poor, not only
with handouts, but helping them learn to help themselves. Now let us
walk on,"

And we were back on the pathway. We traveled a bit further along, and
then were in the parlor of a funeral home. A young woman was kneeling
before the casket, resting her head on it and crying. I could see by
the similarity, that this dead man must be her father.

God knelt beside her, and drew His arms about her. "Miss him, that is
all right, but weep not for him, for now he is with Me".

She wiped her eyes, and stood with a sad smile upon her face, and said
"Good-bye Daddy. I'll miss you," and turned and left the room.

And we were back on the pathway.

We walked a little ways, and we were in front of a large lodge of some
kind. I could hear music and laughter spilling out of the windows. I
turned to look at God, and was shocked to see, not the flowing white
robe, but Him wearing leather and animal furs, his hair and beard now
the color of wheat, and a sword strapped across His back. He strode
forth, and I saw him approach a figure I had not seen before. As I
looked close, I was shocked to see that it was the same face that I
had just seen dead, but looking young and strong, and dressed in
ancient looking garb, an ax strapped to his waist.

God strode up to him and grabbed him in a great bear hug. "Welcome my
son. We've been waiting for you. Now, go inside and raise a cup or
two, and meet with your brother." And, with a hearty slap on the back,
he sent the man inside. And then we were back on the pathway.

We walked a bit further, and then we were in a mosque. At least I
believed so, as I had never been in one before, but had seen pictures
of them. The group of worshippers was not large, but I could see their
rapt faces as they listened to the mullah speak. He was speaking to
them of purity, both of the mind and the body, bringing them closer to
Allah. And as he spoke, God, dressed now in the robes of the desert,
walked among them and briefly laid his hands upon each set of
shoulders. And, from their faces, I could see that these men knew that
the words of the mullah were true, and that their spirits felt touched
by God. And then we were back on the pathway.

After we had walked a bit, we found ourselves in an African village.
People with skin as black as night, the women with their breast
shamefully bared, were dancing in a circle, to the rhythm of the drums
being played by a group of men. Somehow though, I was not offended by
the bared breasts, and the music seemed to seep into my soul. God was
then a mighty lion, and He let forth a mighty roar. The villagers did
not seem to hear, but the drums increased their pounding, and the
dancers danced with a frenzy. And then we were back on the pathway.

We walked a bit more, and were on the top of a cliff. There sat,
painted and covered with feathers, an old Navajo man.

As I watched, he seemed to change into the form of an eagle and take
flight, and we were flying with him, soaring high into the air, seeing
the vista spread out below us. And God, in the form of an eagle
Himself, seemed to guide this other eagle thru the air, over mountains
and thru valleys, until he came upon a group of men. As I watched, the
old Navajo man was no longer an eagle, but a young boy instead, and he
sat at the feet of these men, to listen to the words of his elders.

And then we were back on the pathway.

We traveled a bit, and then we were in a forest clearing. I knew this
place. It was known as a place of devil worship and evil. In the
center of the clearing roared a great bonfire, and kiwi torches
outlined a circle of sorts.

Inside this circle, in a circle themselves, stood 7 men and 6 women,
dressed in robes of varying colors, their arms raised to the moon. Was
that one woman MaryAnne? I really couldn't be sure. And God walked
among them in the circle, touching each one.

He seemed not to be an older man now, but as he made each of three
turns around the circle, he was first a young girl, bouncing with
energy, then a woman of middle years, with a tender smile for all Her
children, and finally, an old woman, body bent, but holding Her head
up with pride. And a woman stepped forward, and yes, it was MaryAnne,
and lifted her head to the sky.

"Great Goddess, Mother of us all, thank you for joining us tonight.
Stay if You will, go if You must. Know in our hearts You will always
be welcome. Blessed be!!"

And we were back on the pathway. As we walked along, ahead in the
distance I saw the most beautiful man.

Yes, beautiful, though I would never normally think of a man this way.
With blonde hair, and a golden robe, he seemed to radiate sunshine.
God and this golden man nodded to each other as they passed, sharing a
smile together.

"My Lord" I asked, "was that an angel?"

"Well, yes, he is known as that to some. He is also known to some as
a god himself. That was Lucifer."

And His words caused me to stumble. I couldn't believe that we had
just passed the ultimate evil.

God looked at me, and He knew my mind. And he chuckled a bit. "Think
about it logically My son. The Lucifer that you know is a fallen
angel, cast out of heaven for challenging Me. If I am the all powerful
being, above all others, how could he do this? How could I allow it?"
"But, in the bible...." I stammered.

"The Bible is a wonderful book, as are the Koran and the Torah and
many others, but they are just books, written by the hand of man, not
written by Me. And, it's a bit confusing as well if the truth be
known, but that's not up to Me to fix. These books are wonderful, but
only as guidance, for each man and woman must think for themselves."

And, I believed He was right in this.

"Now, come forth, we must journey a little more before you go back"
and He took my hand once again.

As we followed the pathway, we soared thru the stars, listening to the
music of the heavens, we became a little flower and a mighty oak, we
became a babbling brook, and a mighty ocean. We flitted from flower to
flower as a little honey bee, and ran across the plains as a mighty
stallion.

And, all too soon the pathway returned us to my home. God held my hand
a moment longer, and smiled into my face.

"My son, you prayed tonight for a true vision of Me. For vision, you
must only open your eyes and see what there is to see. Good night to
you".

And then He was gone, and I was back in my bed. A dream I thought,
only a dream, that couldn't have been real. At that time, a bolt of
lightning lit up my room thru the window, and thunder crashed thru the
sky, and I thought I heard, from seemingly far away, "Remember, the
Lord works in mysterious ways My son".

This morning as I entered the office, I went to the machine for a cup
of coffee, and standing there, I spied MaryAnne.

As I approached her, I could see her barely cringe, and I could see in
her face that she was expecting yet another onslaught from me and my
book. She seemed to cast her eyes about for a way to escape, but there
was none.

I walked up to her and smiled. "I think I owe you a bit of an apology"
I said. "I've been a bit narrow minded of late, and I really had no
right to subject you to what I did. It's not up to me to say how you
find your path to your spirit, and I was wrong to think that was so."

MaryAnne just stood there, not knowing what to say.

"So, I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry, and I hope you will
forgive my trespass. God bless you MaryAnne, and...uh.... Blessed Be?"

You know, I always thought that it was just a saying, about peoples
jaws dropping to the floor, but MaryAnne did her best at that moment
to prove me wrong.

I want to share this, but I don't know who the author is, it has been in my email for years. I have searched it before with no luck. If any of you know could you please tell me. I think it is an awesome story and would like to have the authors name on it.

For My Readers

This is just to let you all know that I do appreciate all of your visits to my little life here on the net. Thank you also for commenting. Have a wonderful day!

Honored

Preston over at Me and the Blue Skies has awarded me the Proximidade Award. He claims that “This blog invests and believes, in ‘proximity’ [meaning, that blogging makes us 'close' - being close through proxy]. These blogs are all charming and they aim to show the marvels of friendship. Let’s give more attention to them! So with this prize we must deliver it to eight bloggers that in turn must make the same thing and put in this text."

Thank you so much Preston, I am completely honored! I love receiving awards, who doesn't, but I don't like the "have to pass it on" part of the whole thing. So, if you don't mind, I am not passing this on just yet. I am not saying that I won't ever pass it on, as I am sure there are many blogs out there worthy of this awesome award. I wanted to acknowledge your kindness and thank you for this award.

I received another award today from My Version It is the Butterfly Award.



Again, I am truly honored to have been given this award. Thank you so much. I have come across many blogs out there that I think are cool and will be passing this along as I go.

How I Love Thee...

The reasons that I am in love with you are many, most of which I find hard to put into words. I want to try though, so this is for you Michael.

When I am sad or angry or stressed, with just your voice, instantly, my whole being brightens up and smiles. You are my warm fuzzy. Knowing that you can feel when I am in need of you and are always right here for me...with me. Feeling your support, your encouragement, your love. Holding me tight through the distance between us. Comforting me through the rough patches and reassuring me that everything will be all right.

I am in love with you for the intelligence that you have and the knowledge that you continue to strive for. Your understanding and patience with me in the questions I ask allows me to be comfortable asking them.

I am in love with you for your honesty and integrity of which I am not accustomed to.

I am in love with you for your sense of humor. On the seventh day...

I am in love with you because we can talk about anything or nothing at all and be fine with that.

I am in love with you for staying with me every night when I go to sleep even through my snoring.

I am in love with you for taking me places I never knew existed.

Baby...I am in love with you for all of you. No matter how much I write here or how many words I say, it will never be able to come close to all of the love I have for you.

Journey

Should you sacrifice your happiness for your family? Should they even expect you to? Do you take into consideration how your actions will affect others? Will they learn to accept your decisions? What is the right thing to do?

But then you have to ask yourself...who is it right for?

More than anything I have ever wanted in my life, I want to be with the man that I love. I want to be with him so much it physically hurts sometimes to have to be so far away. Yet I know that being with him will mean being 1600 miles away from my family. How much is that going to hurt?

Although my kids are grown-my son is 23 and my daughter will be 21 soon-it will be tough to be that far away from them. We are very, very close. Knowing that I am only a couple of miles away gives them a sense of security, I think. I am the constant in their lives, and they know that I would never let anything happen to them. They will never be hungry, they will never be homeless. As long as I am here they have a place to go if they need to. So when I go to be with Michael they will lose that constant. That will be quite an adjustment for my daughter, (who has grown into a remarkable woman, I might add). We have never lived apart from each other. But she is a very strong woman, (kind of like her mom...hehe), and I know she will adjust and grow even stronger. My son, (who is also amazing), has been away from home a few times, and he should adjust all right. He is doing awesome right now, and needs to believe in himself a little more. I am very proud of him.

I do believe they want me to be happy though, and know that being with Michael will make me happy. I think the distance is the only thing that they don't want. That part does kind of suck, but I have to believe that I have done the best that I could in the raising of my children. I have taught them, above all else, to be respectful and to treat people well. Will I stop worrying about them? Never. They are, and always will be my heart.

And then there is my mom and both sisters. If you have been reading my posts, you know that my mom was recently diagnosed with cancer and is undergoing radiation and chemo. What you don't know is that my sister has a rare liver disease and will eventually have to have a liver transplant. She is doing ok right now, but the doctors don't know how fast this disease progresses and have to re-check her every six months. So am I needed here for them? I mean, we live between 2-3 hours away and we don't get to see each other often, but it's still close enough that if something should happen we would be there for each other.

The decision is ultimately mine to make. I am the one in control of my own happiness. My journey in this life is to do and be the best that I can. To learn all that I can learn. The next chapter is ready to begin...

My First Award

I have received my first award from Helen at The Inspired Self. I will display this award with honor. Thank you Helen.

Uber (synonym to Super) Amazing Blog Award is a blog award given to sites who:
~ inspires you
~ makes you smile and laugh
~ or maybe gives amazing information
~ a great read
~ has an amazing design
~ and any other reasons you can think of that makes them uber amazing!

The rules of this award are:
* Put the logo on your blog or post.
* Nominate at least 5 blogs (can be more) that for you are Uber Amazing!
* Let them know that they have received this Uber Amazing award by commenting on their blog.
* Share the love and link to this post and to the person you received your award from.

Here are my nominations for the Uber Amazing:

Denver Cereal
The Work From Home Mother
Work at Home Mom Revolution
A Simple Married Life
Feeling Flirty

Wordless Wednesday

Continuation

The next relationship I had, I jumped in way too fast. I thought I needed to have someone in my life so I chose a man from the bar I worked at the day after I asked the kids' dad to leave. We were together for almost 2 years. I realized that it wasn't fair to him, that my feelings weren't the same as his. Again, I thought I loved him, but I really didn't know what love was. He didn't beat me and was a very nice man, but not without his own issues. I was unhappy with myself for getting involved with him on the rebound and for hurting him towards the end of the relationship. Another lesson learned.

Then came Scott into my life. He was a fun, carefree, love all, kind of person and we were together for 6 years. He is also an alcoholic and that would begin to strain our relationship. The first 4 years were great. We had a lot of fun together, but the alcohol started to interfere. He started acting strange and I knew there was more than alcohol involved. His temper started flaring and he started to become violent with me. Again, I thought I could "fix" him, but that didn't happen. I was pretty devastated with that breakup and I swore off men forever.

I decided that I needed to start being happy with myself. I needed to learn that I was going to be perfectly fine without someone. It was a long road, but after the first year it began to get easier. I was ok. I liked myself, I liked the person that I was. I didn't need or want anyone coming in and invading my space. As the first year turned into the second year and the second year turned into the third I started thinking about relationships. I started thinking about what it is that I would like to have in a relationship if I was to ever have one again. Not that I saw that happening, as I was perfectly fine with being alone for the rest of my life. I had accepted that and really was ok with it. With the track record that I had with men it wasn't too hard to accept.
I was tired of being hurt, being used, being abused. I wasn't going to accept that as any form of love. So since it was my choice, I decided to go it alone.

I woke up one morning in January of this year and felt that this was going to be the year that I met someone. It was the weirdest feeling, as it was so out of the blue. It was all I could think about that day. I didn't know where or when or how, I just knew that it was going to happen. I knew that I was going to meet the man that was going to be everything I needed. Someone that was going to be kind and thoughtful and tender and courtesy. He will be the one to zip up my sweater as the air chilled outside. He will be the one that knows what I am passionate about, knows my needs and will fulfill them with me. That is what I desire.

What I desire...

Zipping up her sweater when the air is getting chilly, kissing him on the cheek as you walk past, taking her glasses off if she falls asleep with them on. The little things that mean so much. Thoughtfulness, kindness, tenderness, compassion, courtesy, are things that are so important in a relationship. For me, if those things weren't there, I wouldn't see any point in continuing on with the relationship. As the years have ticked by I have learned some valuable lessons from the relationships that I have been in. I have grown from those lessons. I know now what it is I want and have no desire to accept any less.

In my teen and young adult years I was very naive. I must have thought that by having sex with all those different boys I would have more friends. Like I said, very naive. That was the start of all the dysfunctional relationships that I would later live through. Regrets, no, because along with everything that I have done came the experience and knowledge to grow and become the woman that I am today.

My first long time relationship was with my kids' father. Someone was paying attention to me for reasons other than sex. He really acted like he wanted to have a relationship with me. He said things to me that no one had ever said before. He told me he loved me and wanted to marry me. He wanted to build a life together, have children. I was so blown away. I fell instantly in love and vowed to myself to be committed to this relationship. The first time that he hurt me, I just blew it off as drunkenness. There wasn't an incident for a long time after that. He was so apologetic promising that it would never happen again. I was in love and believed him. Until the next time, which was so horrible, I was unrecognizable from the beating that I took. I still went back to him. I tried for 13 years to make this work. We had 2 awesome children together and I wanted to keep the family unit together. There was only a couple more physical abuses in that time until I finally realized that this is not love, and not what I want, need, or deserve. I cannot change anyone else...lesson learned, or so I thought...

more to come...xoxo

Going to California

Whoo hoo! I'm going to California! I want to take this time to thank a very special woman who is making this possible. Lynn you are wonderful!!! I want you to know how much I appreciate what you are doing. I understand that this isn't for me as much as it is for your son, but I am grateful nonetheless. So, thank you, thank you, thank you!

I will be going the week of Thanksgiving. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I have never flown before, so that kind of worries me. I have never even been in an airport other than the one in Sioux Falls. Can you say sheltered life?! Hehehe! Pretty sure that everything will be all right, just have to not worry bout it.

Then there are the thoughts like what if he doesn't like me when we finally get to meet each other and be with each other. I don't believe that will happen, it just pops through my head once-in-awhile. I truly believe that we will fall deeper in love the moment we see each other in person.

Pronunciation Poem

I stumbled this and thought it was kind of cool.

I take it you already know
of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you,
on hiccough, thorough, laugh and through.
Well done!  And now you wish, perhaps,
to learn of less familiar traps?

Beware of heard, a dreadful word,
that looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead -- it's said like bed not bead --
and for goodness' sake don't call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat
(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt)

A moth is not the moth in mother,
nor both in bother, broth in brother.
And here is not a match for there,
nor dear and fear for bear and pear.
And then there's dose and rose and lose --
just look them up -- and goose and choose,
and cork and work and card and ward,
and font and front and word and sword,
and do and go and thwart and cart --
come, come I've hardly made a start.
A dreadful language?  Man alive.
I'd mastered it when I was five.

(author?)

Not about romance

It's happening again. I don't want her to have to go through the same thing that he did, so many years ago. My mom has cancer in her uterus. It is invasive. She said that she has known for quite some time as she has been spotting for months. She just went to the doctor last week and the biopsy results came back yesterday. She will do radiation and chemo at the same time.

I remember how much pain my father was in. He had cancer in his throat with 2 tumors the size of my fist on the outside of his neck. I never understood the idea of putting poison in your body to get rid of poison. How can that be good? Isn't there a different way. Dad suffered for years with this cancer. I saw him go from a big strong man to just a shell. It was so bad that I started praying for him to be released of it all. Praying to take him out of this life of torment. I don't want to do that again. I don't want her to suffer like he did. It's not right. How can there not be a cure for this? It has been around forever, and with all the technology, how is it still around?

My mom thinks that she is being punished. She is so full of guilt and won't let it go and thinks this is her punishment. When my father was so sick, she worked 2 jobs and wasn't home with him and feels she should've been. When he went to the hospital the last time she didn't call us kids and tell us until he had passed away. She feels guilty about that even though we have all told her that we don't hold anything against her for that. When her own parents were so sick, she couldn't go to them, and didn't have any means to even go to their funerals. She feels guilt for that. I try and try to tell her that stuff is all in the past and there isn't anything that she can do about it now. She needs to forgive herself and accept the mistakes that she has made and leave it in the past. I don't know how to help her with that. It breaks my heart.

I am going to be researching unconventional cancer treatments and if any of you reading this have any ideas or links or anything, I would appreciate it so much if you could share them with me.